5 lessons learned from business failure

“I can’t breathe!”

Panic started to set in. It snowballed as I began to panic about panicking. The thought raced through my head that I might suffocate to death. I managed to call my brother and ask him to take me to the hospital. As he made his way over, I took a moment alone in the house to put my head down and close my eyes. I waited…Soon I found my heart rate coming down from its frantic rhythm. My breathing became more relaxed, fuller with each new breath. I called my brother and told him it was okay. I had a panic attack. I’m going to be okay.

Rewind 5 years prior. I left a cushy finance position at the bank to cofound a company with a friend. It was a life-changing experience. I wore many hats, and navigated through the ups and downs of entrepreneurship.

The low point came when the company was on the verge of bankruptcy. That’s what spurred on the panic attacks for the first time in my life.

I learned more from that experience than perhaps any other time in my life.

Here are 5 fundamental lessons I learned from business failure (and success).

1. Entrepreneurship is an accelerator in self-awareness.

Distill a business or organization to its essence. What are you left with? People. The most essential element is the people. This is especially true at the leadership level. The character, skills, and mindset of an owner permeate through the venture.

This becomes evident when you start your own business. You will be tested by new challenges on a daily basis. Success will not only come from your technical knowledge, it will come from your level of emotional intelligence, social intelligence, objectivity, maturity, discipline, perseverance, as well as your capacity to face your fears and regulate stress.

A business is a magic mirror, showing you which aspects of yourself you need to develop. It will also reveal your own self-delusions. Prepare to be humbled!

2. Disconnect and recharge.

Especially in the beginning, owning your own business is a 24/7 ordeal, literally. You find yourself thinking about the business all the time. It’s hard to shut it off. You might even find yourself unable to sleep at times. That’s on top of the ridiculous hours of actual work.

Unfortunately, burnout is practically considered a rite of passage. It’s not something to be glorified. It’s not sustainable. You suffer. The business suffers. At times there’s no getting around the long-hours. That being said, you need to set healthy boundaries with yourself and others.

Find ways to disconnect and recharge. Reconnect with yourself, with friends and family, with nature, and if you are so inclined, reconnect with the mystery of life through spirituality. It’s important you ensure that you have a healthy support network in place. This is crucial to your long-term success and overall well-being.

3. Don’t rush into partnerships.

Don’t rush into marriage. Don’t rush into business partnerships. The same rules apply. Wishful thinking can leave you blindsided by a reality check later down the road. Get to know each other first.

Some caveats to consider:

• Don’t assume just because you get along with someone in your personal life that you will work well together. Personal and professional dynamics are two different worlds.
• Respect each other’s differences. Contrasting personality types often clash, but they don’t have to. You and your partner can view your differences as personal obstacles or as complements to the greater good of the company. Never go into a partnership thinking you can change them. That’s a recipe for disaster.
• Make sure you and your partner share a common vision for the company. Otherwise, you might find yourselves at an eventual tug-of-war as the company evolves.
• Communication is the glue of any strong relationship. That goes for business partnerships too. Conflict is an inevitable fact of life. Communication is key to resolving conflicts. Without it resentment and mistrust lurks in the shadows.

4. Entrepreneurship is not for everyone.

“What do you do?”

“I’m an entrepreneur.”

Sounds impressive, doesn’t it?

Nowadays entrepreneurship is highly-esteemed by our culture. It’s sexy. Tell someone you’re an entrepreneur, and they may immediately begin to characterize you with qualities like leadership, independence, ingenuity, resourcefulness, intelligence, etc. Actually, you might be the furthest thing from it. But…it’s nice to pretend, isn’t it?

Behind the nice title might be hidden a house-of-cards about to fall. A strong image is not an indication of success, your financial statements are. I know, that doesn’t sound very sexy, but it’s the truth. Entrepreneurship can be a lonely and anxiety-inducing grind at times. It’s not as glorious as it seems. It’s not for everyone, and that’s okay.

Before you jump into the ring, ask yourself, “What’s my motivation?”. Are you doing it because it’s a viable option, or are you doing it out of vanity?

It’s also important to take your personal circumstances into consideration. You may have a family to care for. Working a 9–5 doesn’t make you less of a person. Call me old school, but putting food on your table is an admirable feat.

5. You are not your business.

What spurred on my panic attack? I was afraid of losing control. I was afraid of failure and how others would perceive me.

That episode led me to ask myself a fundamental question that changed my life forever:

“What’s the worst that can happen?”

I played out each scenario in my head: the embarrassment, the disappointment, the sense of failure. In the end, I realized that I would still have my life, and eventually…life goes on.

In retrospect, I came to realize that I invested my sense of self in my business. When it dies, I die. That was a mistake. A business is a tool. Just like any other tool. You may own a business, but don’t fall into the trap of being owned by your business. You are not your business.

Ultimately, the company made it through, but I decided to leave.

Looking back, I’m grateful for the failures and even the panic attacks. They were great teachers in my life. They led me to pause, reassess, learn and grow. I still have a lot to learn, and a lot of glorious failures to live.

I imagine you do too. Embrace it.